Things were very different back in 1992. There was unrest in the Middle East, we had a gridlocked Congress, and everybody was talking about Bill Cosby.

There is a new bill in the Senate that is upsetting a lot of people. This bill would give the President the power to shut off the Internet. Al Gore is strongly opposed to it. Not because he invented the Internet. Because he did. But because he just signed up for Match.com.

Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.

Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with!

I'm a terrible interviewer. I'm not a journalist - although I have a Peabody Award - and I'm not really a late-night host. What I am is honest.

The White House announced plans to begin normalizing relations with Cuba - this as we're awkwardizing relations with Russia.

A lot of the U.S. used to be part of Mexico, including Arizona. But they're a bit touchy about that right now.