The virus in the movie 'Contagion' is based on the bird flu which came out of nowhere back in 2008. Everyone thought it was going to change the way we live and it just faded away. Wait a minute, I'm talking about President Obama.

Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child.

President Obama said that we rely too much on gadgets. He gave a passionate speech about technology, but he had to stop when the teleprompter broke.

There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin.

People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid.

Today Monopoly added a new game piece: the cat. The new piece was chosen after weeks of online voting. Is that a surprise? Whenever there's a vote for something on the Internet, the cat always wins.

A number of U.S. colleges are going to start having dorms for alcoholics. I believe those are called dorms.