The virus in the movie 'Contagion' is based on the bird flu which came out of nowhere back in 2008. Everyone thought it was going to change the way we live and it just faded away. Wait a minute, I'm talking about President Obama.

A lot of the U.S. used to be part of Mexico, including Arizona. But they're a bit touchy about that right now.

BP CEO Tony Hayward said recently, 'No one wants this thing over more than I do. I'd like my life back.' Tony, I'm so sorry you had your summer disrupted. I'd buy you a drink, but you'd probably spill that too and make me clean it up.

Sometimes my pathology just spills out into the camera doesn't it?

This story is true. Of course, there are many lies therein and most of it did not happen, but it's all true. In that sense it is deeply religious, perhaps even biblical.

A number of U.S. colleges are going to start having dorms for alcoholics. I believe those are called dorms.

If you absolutely believe that what you do is right, you're bullet-proof.