I realized women and humor were linked very closely.

Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations.

Fat is where comedy is stored.

Occasionally, when I lived in London, I would have sex with a girl from an aristocratic family. I always enjoyed doing to them what their ancestors did to my country.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.

A woman in Germany gave birth to a 13 1/2 pound baby. That baby was so fat his first word was strudel.

You know who sang at Rush Limbaugh's wedding? Elton John! According to Rush, gay people can sing at weddings. Just not their own.