I realized women and humor were linked very closely.

Acid gave me a clinical, unblinking look at madness, and I discovered I wasn't brave enough to be insane.

I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost.

BP CEO Tony Hayward said recently, 'No one wants this thing over more than I do. I'd like my life back.' Tony, I'm so sorry you had your summer disrupted. I'd buy you a drink, but you'd probably spill that too and make me clean it up.

The difference between a broadcaster and a host is that a host tells stories and dumb jokes, but a broadcaster can articulate deeper like, you know - things and stuff.

Harry Potter, he sends a message on Owl Mail while us poor old muggles have to make do with instantaneous emails and texting. Oh, if only we could be like you Harry Potter, with your four day owl delivery!

Scotland is a much lighter and more fun place than I thought it was. I was miserable when I was there. But it wasn't Scotland's fault. It was my circumstances. I was - I hate to say the word humbled - but that's what it felt like. I was wrong about this place. This is a great place full of very fun people.