It's Earth Day today. Let me tell you something about polar bears. They're endangered but you have to be careful because a polar bear is one of the few animals that will stalk a human. If you go to where polar bears live, it might stalk you and when you're on the plane going home, it might be behind you reading.

If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.

Bush's memoir is 512 pages. To be fair, 200 of those pages are just games and puzzles.

Evil does not question itself. Only Hope questions itself.

I don't know why some people get worked up about gay people marrying. It's not gay people who are ruining the sanctity of marriage, it's celebrities.

The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful.

HD doesn't mean anything to me. It's a technical thing. It's like demographics. A lot of people know about it.