It's Earth Day today. Let me tell you something about polar bears. They're endangered but you have to be careful because a polar bear is one of the few animals that will stalk a human. If you go to where polar bears live, it might stalk you and when you're on the plane going home, it might be behind you reading.
Craig FergusonI have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living - and earning a living.
Craig FergusonThere's a commercial break coming and I'm very excited about it and you know why? Because that's what keeps daddy in suits.
Craig FergusonThe Danes are causing a bit of trouble. The kingdom of Denmark claimed the North Pole as their own. Hey, you can't just reach out and take something if you want it, Denmark. That's Russia's job.
Craig FergusonMy son's always showing me pictures of dinosaurs and asking me what their names are. I dont know so I make stuff up: That son is a thesaurus.
Craig Ferguson