Some people watching CNN were so shocked they started rioting. No, I'm kidding. No one watches CNN.

These days, young people watch TV on smartphones and computers. Young people with an actual TV set are harder to find than a picture of Anthony Weiner with his clothes on.

Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people.

You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.

I'm not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do.

Today Monopoly added a new game piece: the cat. The new piece was chosen after weeks of online voting. Is that a surprise? Whenever there's a vote for something on the Internet, the cat always wins.

From 1934 to 1963, the biggest criminals in America ended up on Alcatraz. Nowadays they end up on Wall Street.