Don't protest outside of a rich man's house in the daytime, you'll just scare the maid, and that's Arnold Schwarzenegger's job.

Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde is a metaphor for alcoholism. He drinks a potion, becomes a monster. I know exactly how he feels.

I'm hooked on email. That's right, kids, I'm one of you.

I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation.

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

The nation of Iran is threatening to sue the makers of the movie Argo. They say the movie was an unrealistic portrayal of their country. You can't do that! That would be like Scotland suing over the movie Shrek.

There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin.