I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think.

I used to psych myself up before the show and now I do the complete opposite: I psych myself down. It's 12:30 at night, you don't want some guy yelling at you. You want some guy just talking to you.

They've found a link between chemicals in shampoo and obesity. If you're eating shampoo, your weight is the least of your concerns.

For the first time in history, Congress has 100 women in it. Congratulations. Welcome to modern times, America. It's great having 100 women in Congress. Unless you're in line for the congressional bathroom.

If you don't vote, you're a moron.

The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful.

I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies.