I am the Saudi Arabia of unhappiness. I have so many reserves of misery that you wouldn't understand. I actually think that's part of why I connect with Canadians. I think they understand grinding misery underneath.

I'm reading a book, because I'm brainy. No, it is a book - if you don't know, it is like a blog except bigger.

In the past I've been hard on the vegans. I've called them Prius-driving fascists, but now I am one of them. I have been turned to the dark side.

The three drunkest cities in America: Fresno, Riverside, and whatever Mel Gibson is driving through.

North Korea announced that they have nuclear weapons and they have no plans to give them up. The White House, acting quickly, announced their plan to invade Iran.

The difference between a broadcaster and a host is that a host tells stories and dumb jokes, but a broadcaster can articulate deeper like, you know - things and stuff.

Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy.