There's something spiritual in hard work. Spirituality isn't all aromatherapy and scented candles.

In the past I've been hard on the vegans. I've called them Prius-driving fascists, but now I am one of them. I have been turned to the dark side.

Now that healthcare is guaranteed, I'm frying everything I eat. Fried food and cigarettes.

A woman in Germany gave birth to a 13 1/2 pound baby. That baby was so fat his first word was strudel.

I wanted to be a rock star.

Lance Armstrong admitted he used performance-enhancing drugs throughout his career. He confessed in front of the most respected judge in the land, Oprah Winfrey.

Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands.