There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin.

The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful.

I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.

This is my first week as an American citizen. It's amazing. Now I can vote in the general election - and for American Idol.

I said that the only way I could have a band that would work in the format of my show is if the band were crap. So if I have a band they'd have to really suck.

I do a show. It comes on late at night on TV. And if that means I'm a late-night talk show host, then I guess I am, but in every other regard I resign my commission, I don't care for it.

I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.