A new restaurant here in Southern California requires women to wear high heels. I'm outraged! This is sexist! Why just the women?

I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.

For the first time in history, Congress has 100 women in it. Congratulations. Welcome to modern times, America. It's great having 100 women in Congress. Unless you're in line for the congressional bathroom.

Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van?

The Universe is very, very big.

Rush Limbaugh says if the health care bill passes, he will leave the country. The Democrats are upset, because if they knew that, they would have passed the bill years ago.

Every year there's a jury at the Cannes Film Festival. Getting on the jury is very competitive in France. Not because the French love cinema, but because they love to judge.