Ratings experts say the best way to get people to watch during sweeps is to leave the audience with a question that won't be answered until the next time the show is on. You know, like Who shot J.R.? I like to think I do this every night - the question is, Is this show still on?

A lot of the U.S. used to be part of Mexico, including Arizona. But they're a bit touchy about that right now.

I try and live my life in bite-size chunks.

From this moment on I'd dedicate my life to rock and roll and take as many drugs as possible. What could possibly go wrong?

What we do have is nothin' but time. Welcome to the Shawshank Redemption of late night!

Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something.

It's a book. It's mine. And it's done.