My son's always showing me pictures of dinosaurs and asking me what their names are. I dont know so I make stuff up: That son is a thesaurus.

If a man doesn't know how to dance he doesn't know how to make love, there I said it!

The Danes are causing a bit of trouble. The kingdom of Denmark claimed the North Pole as their own. Hey, you can't just reach out and take something if you want it, Denmark. That's Russia's job.

I realized women and humor were linked very closely.

Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.

Now, I know Obama was trying to take the long view, but talking about solar energy in the middle of the oil spill is like watching your house engulfed in flames and saying, 'We really should change the curtains.'

Nothing says romance like hobos, martyrs and decapitations.