Director Oliver Stone says he's going to make a movie about Vladimir Putin. I can't believe anyone would want to work with that insane communist. And Putin is a little crazy as well.

In the past I've been hard on the vegans. I've called them Prius-driving fascists, but now I am one of them. I have been turned to the dark side.

People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid.

According to a new study, our email is not as safe as we thought. How do they know this? They've been reading my email.

Welcome back, my cheeky wee monkeys.

Insiders say Obama's pretty comfortable around actors. He should be. He has been 'acting' like he was born in Hawaii for a long time.

It's tricky turning a book into a movie. Sometimes people love the book so much that no adaptation lives up to what they imagined. You can avoid that disappointment by never, ever reading books.