Democrats in state legislatures are at their lowest level since the 1920s. President Obama has a can't-miss strategy to save the party in 2016. He's leaving.

I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of them were recovering alcoholics themselves.

A woman in Germany gave birth to a 13 1/2 pound baby. That baby was so fat his first word was strudel.

Personally, I hope he doesn't get out of the campaign. I need Rick Perry. I don't want to spend the next year trying to do jokes about Mitt Romney.

Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands.

Being funny is a gift, and, when done well, is an art form.

That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.