The Danes are causing a bit of trouble. The kingdom of Denmark claimed the North Pole as their own. Hey, you can't just reach out and take something if you want it, Denmark. That's Russia's job.
Craig FergusonI like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.
Craig FergusonA dozen swimming events have already been completed in the Olympic competition. I wonder where they got the name 'Speedo.' It doesn't sound like a bathing suit, it sounds like a breakfast cereal for meth addicts.
Craig FergusonThe truth is, you win the Lotto. That's really how you have to approach it. You're a lottery winner when you get a sitcom and it goes.
Craig Ferguson