Gas prices - it is $6 a gallon here. People in L.A. are furious. You can't tell, of course, because of the Botox.

The new Pope, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, is now Pope Francis the 1st. Francis was not his first choice for a name. But the Vatican wisely talked him out of Pope Boo Boo.

Oh Satan you're a wily one.

I think commercialism helps Christmas and I think that the more capitalism we can inject into the Christmas holiday the more spiritual I feel about it

I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost.

The problem with suicide is that it seems so flamboyant. It's camp. You have to be a bit of a drama queen to ever seriously consider it.

That's here on CBS, where the 'C' stands for 'Classy' and the 'BS' speaks for itself.