I view my own body as a petting zoo. I am the main attraction... And the only customer.

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.

Clay Aiken ran for Congress in North Carolina. But he didn't make it. Clay Aiken is famous for coming in second in a TV popularity contest that most people got fed up with years ago. He also lost on 'American Idol.'

Confession is a sacred rite enhanced by allegory, exaggeration, and lies.

I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that.

Dell Computers announced they're releasing a competitor for the iPad. Now it is, in fact, a great alternative for people who already have an iPad, but are fed up with it working all the time.