I view my own body as a petting zoo. I am the main attraction... And the only customer.

I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.

Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken. Infallibility is a sin in any man. All laws can be broken and are. Often.

That's the thing about terrorism - it works. Especially for the terrorists - they might not get what they want but it feels damn good trying.

The worst gift I was given is when I got out of rehab that Christmas; a bottle of wine. It was delicious.

I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that.

Every year law schools churn out thousands of lawyers. We don't need any more lawyers. We need more lawyers like we need more talk-show hosts.