I view my own body as a petting zoo. I am the main attraction... And the only customer.

Nothing says romance like hobos, martyrs and decapitations.

Technically my dog's naked most of the time. Except halloween, when I dress him up as Liza Minelli.

There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin.

Democrats are calling Christine O'Donnell 'the Sarah Palin of the East.' Really? She's a loud, emotionally unstable woman from Delaware. That's not Sarah Palin, that's Joe Biden.

What we do have is nothin' but time. Welcome to the Shawshank Redemption of late night!

I think people are as individual as snowflakes, they kinda look alike but no two are the exactly the same, and all classification is the root of prejudice.