That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.

Twas the night before Thanksgiving.

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

Insiders say Obama's pretty comfortable around actors. He should be. He has been 'acting' like he was born in Hawaii for a long time.

Scotland is a much lighter and more fun place than I thought it was. I was miserable when I was there. But it wasn't Scotland's fault. It was my circumstances. I was - I hate to say the word humbled - but that's what it felt like. I was wrong about this place. This is a great place full of very fun people.

The three drunkest cities in America: Fresno, Riverside, and whatever Mel Gibson is driving through.

The virus in the movie 'Contagion' is based on the bird flu which came out of nowhere back in 2008. Everyone thought it was going to change the way we live and it just faded away. Wait a minute, I'm talking about President Obama.