I've got mixed feelings about poetry cause done well poetry is fantastic. But not many people are capable of doing it well. I think you should have some kind of license to perform poetry. A poetic license perhaps.

My father had a very unusual psychic ability, he could detect water. It's called divining. He would use a Y-shaped U-branch, and he could find water with that, which is a very impressive skill in a country where it rains 365 days of the year.

For a while, some schools across the country were banning spelling bees. For obvious reasons, of course - steroids

Don't hit women. Never, ever, ever.

I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.

Everything I think of now is too rude to actually say.

A number of U.S. colleges are going to start having dorms for alcoholics. I believe those are called dorms.