I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.

I love the United States. I have applied for citizenship. I want to take the oath of allegiance on TV.

I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

The views expressed by Me are in no way endorsed by CBS any of its allied companies or in fact Me.

Other than the laws of physics, rules have never really worked out for me.

If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them I want to be one of me.

The truth is, you win the Lotto. That's really how you have to approach it. You're a lottery winner when you get a sitcom and it goes.