The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.

John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his CBS deal and can't wait to start alienating the staff of an entirely new network.

As the Democrats get revved up at their convention in Boston, President Bush is fighting back the only way he knows how: by going on vacation! Ah, it's nice to take a rest, replenish your supply of smirks. The vacation was expected, because Bush traditionally takes a month off every summer to relax and avoid reading National Security Warnings.

John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq.

Hillary Clinton has finished writing her book where she says her marriage couldn't be stronger, and Bill just finished his book titled 'Chicks I Nailed While Hillary was Writing Her Book.'

I pride myself on being down-to-earth. I’m from the Midwest. People who go into show business are screwed up. I romanticized about having a serene life.