In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.

I don't do well around the angry, bitter and emotionally fragile among us, which may eliminate 70% of the population.

President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one.

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.

In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.

California's economy is declining so rapidly that candidates are asking 'Are you better off now then you were four minutes ago?'

If loving you is wrong, then I'll just like you a whole bunch!