The places I've worked in the past, I always stayed three years and moved on.

I don't want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone.

If loving you is wrong, then I'll just like you a whole bunch!

My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'

President Bush said John Kerry is on both sides of every issue. And Kerry replied, 'No, I'm not ... but there is some truth to that.'

Today Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge lowered the terror alert from orange to yellow. Does anybody need 16 miles of duct tape?

Or as hockey player Sergei Fedorov knows it, 'The day I can legally start telling everyone I am sleeping with Anna Kournikova.'