The election is in full-swing. Republicans have taken out round-the-clock ads promoting George Bush. Don't we already have that? It's called Fox News.

Maria Shriver is credited with helping Arnold win by standing by him despite allegations of groping. She had to stand by him cause Arnold had a vice grip on her left ass cheek.

California's economy is declining so rapidly that candidates are asking 'Are you better off now then you were four minutes ago?'

President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.

I lived in a studio apartment until my mid-30s. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle.

Over ten thousand people have signed a petition to recall Governor Schwarzenegger. I'm sorry, that is next year's joke.

Critics say Arnold has no previous government experience, but advisers say he's clearly the most qualified Austrian, ex-Mr. Universe in the race.