I have a wonderful respect for old people.

Martha Stewart was convicted of four counts of lying and obstruction of justice and could serve up to 20 years in Congress.

There are 300,000 new jobs and Bush said he's confused, 'Can I take credit for good news that I didn't even make up?'

This is so weird. I saw the new John Kerry campaign commercial and he says, 'I'm John Kerry and I approve of this message - if I have one.'

Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.

President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before.

President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.