I have a wonderful respect for old people.

I think that you're always going to have some people who are negative or view you in a certain way.

I pride myself on being down-to-earth. I’m from the Midwest. People who go into show business are screwed up. I romanticized about having a serene life.

President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.

Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.

In Louisiana, President Bush met with over 15,000 National Guard troops. Here's the weird part, nobody remembers seeing him there.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.