I don't want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone.

I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

Apparently, six women claim that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them while working on his movies. Hats off to these women who admit they worked on Arnold's movies.

If loving you is wrong, then I'll just like you a whole bunch!

John Kerry announced his plan for how to handle those poor naked prisoners. His wife is going to buy them all a $1,000 Armani suit.

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.

Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card.