President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

You may have heard this, that NASA discovered water on Mars When he heard about the water on Mars, President Bush said, 'Is it regular or unleaded?'

Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card.

I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California.

Howard Dean is narrowing the field of potential running mates. It's down to Mike Tyson or Bobby Knight.

President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.