President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one.

In Louisiana, President Bush met with over 15,000 National Guard troops. Here's the weird part, nobody remembers seeing him there.

John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his CBS deal and can't wait to start alienating the staff of an entirely new network.

It's not a big part, ... I wheel in an ultrasound machine and say to Taylor's gynecologist, 'If you have a problem with it, just give it a light tap on the side.' Then they hand me a urine sample, and I put it up to the light and say 'Hmm, looks pretty healthy, but I'll check.'

Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.

My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'