George W. Bush even stopped in Pennsylvania to try his hand at the lotto and gave up when he could only think of the numbers 4 and 17

I don't do well around the angry, bitter and emotionally fragile among us, which may eliminate 70% of the population.

I don't want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone.

I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoir has come out. So much of her personality shines through, that in the end, you, too, will want to sleep with an intern.

Clinton said he feels safe in Harlem. It's the only place in the state Hillary is scared to look for him after dark.

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.