Happy birthday to former First Lady Barbara Bush, who turned seventy-seven this week. Unfortunately, where her granddaughters helped blow out the candles on her cake, it exploded.

Maria Shriver is credited with helping Arnold win by standing by him despite allegations of groping. She had to stand by him cause Arnold had a vice grip on her left ass cheek.

Tom Ridge now says we don't have to run out and put plastic sheets all over the house. Great, tell that to my dead parakeet.

Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.

Ironically, the possibility that the president dodged his military service has increased his approval ratings with Democrats by 80 percent.

Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.

Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.