Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.

Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card.

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.

Ironically, the possibility that the president dodged his military service has increased his approval ratings with Democrats by 80 percent.

A study shows breast implants can cause nausea and dizziness... from all the free drinks.

Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, 'If I can't run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then I'm out of here.'

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.