Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.

Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.

Tom Ridge now says we don't have to run out and put plastic sheets all over the house. Great, tell that to my dead parakeet.

Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.

Senator Hillary Clinton is attacking President Bush for breaking his campaign promise to cut carbon dioxide emissions, saying a promise made, a promise broken. And then out of habit, she demanded that Bush spend the night on the couch.

My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'

President Bush is trying to put a positive spin on the latest bad economic numbers. Today he declared victory in the 'War on Jobs.'