John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California.

President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one.

Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.

Boeing is working on an invisible fighter jet so nobody can see who's flying it. Didn't George Bush fly this in the National Guard, I believe?

I have a wonderful respect for old people.

Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his CBS deal and can't wait to start alienating the staff of an entirely new network.