It's never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes

My life is now a constant assessment of whether what's happening in real life is more entertaining than what's happening on my phone.

My other car is a vehicle with a bumper sticker describing this car.

It's never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes

Forget the Bible, the greatest argument against human evolution is a YouTube comment thread.

Paul Ryan looks like the car rental salesman who bullies you into getting full coverage.

Before taking the stage, Paul Ryan spent 6 hours staring into a mirror working on 'concerned eyebrow.'