English? Who needs to spend time learning that? I'm never going to England!

There is no strong beer, just weak men

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

To many, Homer may appear lazy and a loser, but he's just much misguided. He's boorish, sure, but well meaning and, I guess, the one thing we have in common is the pursuit of lousy diets.

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time, being a cartoon gives the writers more freedom than in a normal sitcom. It always pushes the line that, despite human failings, the Simpsons are really decent people.

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.