the Bible is only as good and decent as the person reading it.

I own a lot of my house, because I'm Irish and from people who never owned anything.

I think it's going to take three or four generations of gay people being able to get married before it starts feeling less like we're going through these motions, that we're aping a heterosexual institution.

The truly revolutionary promise of our nation's founding document is the freedom to pursue happiness-with-a-capital-H.

Don't mistake being an asshole for being a man.

TV commercials make parenting look like there are going to be good days and bad days - like, it'll be this gentle wave, like you'll have a blissed-out, really wonderful day or two, and then, you know, then you'll have an issue. And what parenting is, is kind of earthquake.

Kids are like heroin, a little heroin addiction. When it’s bad, you’ve never been so miserable, but when it’s good you’ve never been so high.