Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.

My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.

Saw a lost dog sign with a pic of the dog and a little boy hugging it. I'm assuming the kids safe and we're just focusing on the pooch.

That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.