It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.

What happens in Vegas, I'm telling everyone.

The problem with dating a model is they won't go out with you if your cars color doesn't match their outfit.

After you have loss in your life and after you experience something like losing your parents, the greatest gift of that was it prepared me for [anything]. Nothing else is as scary, and certainly stand-up comedy is not as scary as sitting there with your mom and having to have last conversations and things like that. It's heavy stuff, but it's enlightening because it makes me think I shouldn't be afraid of sharing ideas and thoughts with people. It's the yin and the yang of life.

Time machine... wouldn't you like to travel through time? I would. I'd go back... mess with people. You know what I would do? I would go back to when my mom and dad were having sex, to have me. Ya'know, come in, spank my dad on the ass I'm your son from the future! Ahaha!

The key to attempting to create art in some aspect is also knowing that it will turn some people off.

Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.