Start each day out the holy way..with Christ Chex, it's a miracle in a bowl. Just open the box and you hear AHHHHH....and then a lil' angel flies out and says 'good morning, life is beautiful!'.

I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!

I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.

I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.

Are there glass shards in my anus?!

I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.

Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.