I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!

There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matter if you keep them secret.

Making you happy isn't making me happy.

Stop saying no offense,” I said, “when you say offensive things. It’s not a free pass.

Daniel Handler's a writer, musician and the author of, among other things, the "Series Of Unfortunate Events" books. He also wrote the TV version of the books that is available now on Netflix. As said, I recommend both media for this story.

There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.

Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course.