There are some people who believe that home is where one hangs one's hat, but these people tend to live in closets and on little pegs.

Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it before.

Miracles can happen, even to those who are small, flammable, and dressed all in black.

When do you learn that the world, like any diner worth its salt, is open twenty-four hours a day?

Every problem has a solution. Sometimes it just takes a long time to find the solution - even if it's right in front of your nose.

If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!"

The holiday season is a time for storytelling, and whether you are hearing the story of a candelabra staying lit for more than a week, or a baby born in a barn without proper medical supervision, these stories often feature miracles. Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you'd see, and this holiday story features any number of miracles, depending on your point of view.