There are some people who believe that home is where one hangs one's hat, but these people tend to live in closets and on little pegs.

Never mind what my name is,” the man said. “No one can pronounce it anyway. Just call me Sir.

...there's nothing wrong with occasionally staring out the window and thinking nonsense, as long as the nonsense is yours.

I'd made pretty clear to the people at Paramount and Dreamworks that, if they wanted Lemony Snicket to comment, he would be completely horrified by the entire film. And as long as they understood that, it was okay. I'm not much of a fan of DVD commentaries myself, so this was my way of getting revenge, in a sense, for all the puffed-up directors and stars who talk endlessly about the self-aggrandizing minutiae of making a movie.

There are so many movies like this, where you thought you were smarter than the screen but the director was smarter than you, of course he's the one, of course it was a dream, of course she's dead, of course, it's hidden right there, of course it's the truth and you in your seat have failed to notice in the dark.

This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.

Miracles can happen, even to those who are small, flammable, and dressed all in black.