Boredom is not black licorice, Snicket," she said. "There's no reason to share it with me.
You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!
The last time I saw you I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!
Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junk mail.
The real Santa Claus is at the mall.
Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.