Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.

It is not the diamonds or the birds, the people or the potatoes, it is not any of the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. It is the way love gets done despite every catastrophe.

But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.

Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemetery?

I started making plans, thinking we would get that far.

The rinsed foam swirled into one drain that always clogged come October when the maples dropped Canadian propaganda over everything.

You should never stick something that you are allergic to into your mouth, especially if that thing is cats.