There are secrets everywhere. I think everyone's parents have secrets. You just have to know where to look for them.

Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course.

Writing is a dying form. One reads of this every day.

Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.

Members of your family might say they are working hard all day long, while you are off at school or clarinet lessons, but the only way to know this for sure is to follow them at a discreet distance.

But the law is an odd thing. For instance, one country in Europe has a law that requires all its bakers to sell bread at the exact same price. A certain island has a law that forbids anyone from removing its fruit. And a town not too far from where you live has a law that bars me from coming within five miles of its borders.

With the publishing of The Basic Eight, it was often assumed that I was really immature and callow, and with the publishing of Watch Your Mouth, it was assumed that I was oversexualized, and with Lemony Snicket, it's often assumed that I'm erudite and depressed. But all the voices more or less came naturally to me.