And a refrigerator may hold a basket of strawberries, which would be important if a maniac said to you, "If you don't give me a basket of strawberries right now, I'm going to poke you with this large stick." But when the two elder Baudelaires and Quigley Quagmire opened the refrigerator, they found nothing that would help someone who was wounded, dying of thirst, or being threatened by a strawberry-crazed, stick-carrying maniac.

I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.

Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.

If you know somebody very well, like your grandmother or your baby sister, you will know when they are real and when they are fake.

There are secrets everywhere. I think everyone's parents have secrets. You just have to know where to look for them.

There are those who say that life is like a book, with chapters for each event in your life and a limited number of pages on which you can spend your time. But I prefer to think that a book is like a life, particularly a good one, which is well to worth staying up all night to finish.

Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday honoring those who cannot stop talking about their work.