A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.

This guy in high school tried to run me over with his dad’s SUV. Bad shoved the vehicle through a store window.” The memory brought a smile to my face.

Charley talking to Cookie ‘'You know those women in nursing homes that have to be restrained around the clock because they mix up everyones medication and steal all the bedpans?'' ‘’Yes'' I said wondering what I was walking into ''That’s going to be you!'' She was probably right, if I live that long

There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt

If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.

I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT

I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.