Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.

I’m currently unsupervised It frisks me out too but the possibilities are endless

Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me," the former detective said.

While I was busy reminiscing about my first day on earth, I had forgotten that I was falling to my death. Damned ADD.

I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT

I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.

Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.