I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly

A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.

I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.

Somebody has to be sane during regular business hours, and it's not going to be me, missy.

I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.

You do have a tendency to severe spinal cords." "Only for you.

She's like a hurricane on crystal meth.