He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.

Somebody has to be sane during regular business hours, and it's not going to be me, missy.

Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.

When life hands you lemons say, "Lemons? What else have you got?" - bumper sticker

It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.

I know," he said in almost bored contemplation. "My manners suck. I like to chalk it up to a dissatisfying childhood." "I'd chalk it up to that narcissistic personality disorder laces with a smidgen of schizophrenia. Your mother would be proud.

Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker