Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.

You totally need to watch the news." "Can't." "Why?" "It's too depressing." "Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.

We stood there, the three of us, our jaws firmly planted on the floor. Aunt Lil recovered first. She nudged me with her elbow and said with a cackle of delight, "I think you guys should make some more of those brownies, 'cause that boy looks hungry.

I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.

I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.

I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.

It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.