Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.

...But he was a good landlord. When my heater stopped working in mid-December, it took him only two weeks to get it fixed. Of course, it took me knocking on his door in need of a warm place to sleep to get it that way, but one night on his sofa, where I’d suddenly developed night terrors and epilepsy, and that puppy was running like a Mercedes the next day. It was awesome.

But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.

I had a horrible feeling my leg was broken. If it wasn’t, it had a lot of explaining to do.

You totally need to watch the news." "Can't." "Why?" "It's too depressing." "Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.

Having Reyes so near is painful. I think it has apoplexy." "Do you even know what that means?" "No, but it sounds serious. Like Ebola. Or hives

Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)