You still owe me a million dollars." I'd presented him with a bill for proving his innocence and getting him freed from prison. He had yet to pay. Couldn't imagine why. "Yeah, I was hoping we could work that out." "The interest alone is going to kill you." "What do you charge?" "Three hundred eighty-seven percent." "Is that ethical?" "It's as ethical as my dating the son of Satan.

There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~

I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.

Dude,” I said, leaning over the desk, “I’m about as psychic as a carrot.

Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT

Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.